Voice & Empowerment

Nobody ever showed me how to tie a tie. I remember the first time I needed one was for my 8th grade graduation and my mom tried to look it up on youtube but she got frustrated and just bought me a pre-tied version. I wore it but something felt wrong about it. So this year for my uncle's wedding I decided I was going to learn for real. I watched like six different videos and practiced on a tie I found. Took me almost 15 mins but I got it. A Windsor knot. When I walked into that wedding my grandma said I looked extra sharp and I just smiled. It wasn't even really about the tie. It was about knowing that when I need something I can find a way to get it myself. That's probably like the most important thing I know about myself now.

My mom works nights sometimes so I started cooking for me and my little brother when I was around 11. At first it was just mac and cheese and eggs, which was fine, but I kept messing even those up. One time I forgot to drain the pasta and it was just like soup with cheese, haha. But I kept trying. I watched videos, I called my grandma and she walked me through her rice recipe on the phone. Now I can make real meals. Chicken, rice, vegetables, the whole thing. What it changed in me is that I dont wait for things to be handed to me anymore. If I want something done I just figure it out. My brother looks at me like I know what I'm doing and most of the time now I do.

I taught myself chess off an app when I was in 6th grade. I lost probably a hundred games before I won one. Like it wasn't even close, I was terrible. But I didn't stop. I started studying why I lost each game. What move I shouldn't have made. Slowly I started to see the board different. Now I'm in the school chess club and I'm one of the better players. But thats not really the point. The point is I learned that losing isn't the end of something, its part of how you get good. Nobody told me that. I just learned it by doing it over and over until something clicked. I think about that whenever something else gets hard now.

I watched the same video four times before I understood how to change a bike tire. Hands dirty, got it wrong twice, had to rewatch some parts so many times it felt like I had the script memorized. But on the third try it held. I rode it to school the next morning knowing I fixed it myself, which felt great! Nobody showed me. I just kept watching until I got it. Turns out that's a good way to learn most things.